Should you get back in the game? One writer explains why joining a team rocks—and what you’ll gain by getting off the bench. By Gretchen Voss For the first two decades of my life, soccer was what I did. And I missed that person. As I jogged onto the soccer field to take my place on the defensive line, I felt that familiar whirling dervish of butterflies crashing about my stomach. I was nervous—I hadn’t tussled on the turf in 15 years, and my husband and two sons were watching. But mostly I felt that old friend of mine, adrenaline, pulsing through my veins, making me feel alive. The referee blew his whistle, and my team’s forward got possession of the ball. But one errant kick later, an opposing player intercepted it. I tensed my body, watching her face to see what she’d do next. When she attempted a pass to her left wing, I was ready. I exploded forward and picked it off with a swipe of my foot. God, that felt good, I thought. What the heck took me so long to get back out here?

Earlier that day, I stood on the sidelines of my husband’s football game, watching Dave and his sweaty friends swear at each other while bloodying their T-shirts, gunning for the end zone as if their lives depended on it. We had both played Division 1 sports in college— lacrosse for him, soccer for me—but postgraduation, he continued to find competitive outlets, joining lacrosse, football and paddle tennis leagues while I traded that particular buzz for more traditionally female pursuits: planning a wedding, socializing and, eventually, raising kids. Looking back, I’m not sure why I made this trade-off, why I decided I had to choose one over the other, estrogen over testosterone. It just felt like the postcollege reality for female athletes who weren’t headed for the Olympics: Close the chapter and move on. Still, I never could shake that hunger for physical competition.

For the first two decades of my life, soccer was what I did—year-round, indoors and outdoors, on traveling circuits and school teams, as a captain and all-state player and college recruit. It was who I was. And I missed that person. Several years ago, after months of hearing Dave rave about his paddle tennis team, I decided to re-tap my competitive urges and sign up for the women’s league at our country club. Playing with the men might have been a hoot, but paddle tennis with the ladies turned out to be a catch-22: If you hit a hard shot, it was incumbent on you to apologize. Executed a great play? It was expected that you call it luck. “Hard-core” was not a positive attribute. It drove me crazy. I began to think that maybe grown women just don’t want to best each other in the sports arena. Maybe they prefer to be soccer moms instead of soccer players.

Then one day I opened my local suburban Massachusetts newspaper and saw this headline: new women’s soccer league kicking off. all abilities and ages welcome. Immediately, I knew I wanted to get back out there.

At the same time, I was terrified. What if I completely embarrassed myself? What would become of the elite-athlete image that I’d carried around with me for so many years? Worse, what if these women were just like the paddle tennis players, passing the ball with a curtsy and a thank-you?

“Come on, Lightning!” yelled our blonde ponytailed captain, Amy, whom I recognized from library story hour three years before, when we both hid in the corner breastfeeding our babies. “Let’s win this one, team!” Music to my ears. It’s funny; I had no reason, really, to be invested in the success of a group of women I’d barely met. But there’s a primal response to being surrounded by a group of hungry athletes that makes you feel as though failure is not an option. The urge to win never gets old.

I’d told myself I’d play tough: When I stole the ball during the game, I did not attribute it to luck. I apologized only once, when I slide tackled another player—clearly against recreational rules. Before I had a chance to feel guilty, on the next pass, the same opponent blasted her weight into me, knocking me to the ground. Aggression can be contagious. Near the end of the tie game, one of the forwards made a move toward our goal. The cry from my team went up: “Defense!” The ball lay midway between me and my opponent. We ran at it full speed, each hoping the other would back off at the last minute. Neither of us did. Sorry to say, an awkward tussle sent the ball caroming into no-man’s-land. But I will long remember how cool it was that, while running all-out toward each other, neither of us chickened out.

After the play, we stood face-to-face and realized we were off-field acquaintances, having met a few years before while walking our dogs around a nearby cranberry bog. Pets in tow, Nicole and I had logged hours of chitchat about kids, family and work, but I had no idea what her other interests were. Turns out, she’s as sports hungry as I am.

I wonder how many other women go about their daily adult business and silently accept that the doors to their younger, competitive selves have closed. I wonder what would have happened if, during one of our lengthy strolls, Nicole and I had shared our inner craving to sweat and run and push ourselves to the limit. Psychological barriers (“I’m too old,” “I’ll fail,” “I’ll embarrass myself”) are a lot easier to conquer when you know you’re not the only one facing them. If those words sound familiar, listen to me: Don’t sit on the sidelines. You can go from soccer mom to soccer player, and you don’t have to be super-fit or super-coordinated to do it. Rekindling a love of sports isn’t about being a star athlete. It’s about satisfying the urge to be unapologetically physical and focused for two hours on a Sunday afternoon while shedding your other-life skin.

Your reflexes may be half as quick as they once were, but the pleasure that comes from rediscovering the game will be twice as great.

get fit GET INSPIRED! EIGHT AWESOME TEAMS FOR WOMEN

RUNNING Team Colorado Columbines, 150 members, ages 16 to 74 Where Denver Workouts Track workouts at least once a week, April through August; fun runs twice a month throughout the year Why it rocks “I love training with other women. We motivate one another to run longer and faster, spark up amazing conversations and talk one another into achieving goals that we would never have considered possible if we were training on our own. I’ve made true friends while running all these miles.”

—Cathy Rosset, 36, insurance association manager

ROWING Team Martha’s Moms Rowing Team, 40 members, ages 39 to 79 Where Seattle Workouts Three times a week on water and land; three to five races per season Why it rocks “I didn’t start rowing until my mid-forties, but the age range on our team is amazing. My 70-year-old teammates have shown me what I can look forward to at that age: They are active, vital women who do more than just row. And as adults, we no longer take our participation in such a rigorous sport for granted. How lucky are we?”

—Suzan Dean, 54, homemaker

KICKBALL Team The She Devils, 15 members, ages 18 to 50 Where Round Rock, TX Workouts Once a week; 10 games per season Why it rocks “I started playing kickball when I was 9 years old. I love it because it’s a game that all levels of athletes can enjoy, and I have played, coached and umpired over the years. All of us joined the She Devils for different reasons, but we find common ground in the fact that we appreciate the game more because we are here to have fun as a team.”

—Tracy Crow, 38, unit secretary, Federal Bureau of Prisons

BASKETBALL Team Team Georgetown, 12 members, ages 22 to 38 Where Washington, D.C. Workouts Once-a-week practice session; league game weekly Why it rocks “When I joined the Get in the Game Lady Lawyers Basketball League, it brought balance to my life. I found that the time I spent on the court helped keep me sane after working long hours in a competitive office environment. It’s more than just a great workout: Playing in one 40-minute game melts away hours of stress.”

—Jennifer Schwab, 31, attorney

ULTIMATE FRISBEE Team Backhoe, 19 members, ages 21 to 37 Where Raleigh, NC Workouts Skill sessions during the week, practice on Saturdays and Sundays; weekend tournaments around the country Why it rocks “As an adult, it’s just that—you’re playing with other adults. No one checks up on you; teammates hold themselves accountable for their behavior and actions. Plus, we can be more independent, since we’re old enough to have the knowledge and skill sets to train on our own.”

—Lindsey Hack, 27, orthopedic physical therapist, Duke University

SOFTBALL Team California Spirit 50s, 15 members, ages 50 to 54 Where Long Beach, CA Workouts Games with other teams in the league two or three times a week Why it rocks “Regardless of the outcome of our games, teammates applaud good plays, ask about one another’s family and share the occasional postgame adult beverage together. Don’t get me wrong, we 50-plus-year-olds still care deeply about winning, but it’s not like we’re getting paid to play softball professionally. We’re here for the sheer love of the sport.”

—Nedra Jerry, 50, IT manager

RUGBY Team Ann Arbor Women’s Rugby, 20 to 25 members, ages 18 to 37 Where Ann Arbor, MI Workouts Two or three

times a week; games weekly Why it rocks “Being part of an adult sports team provides an escape—albeit temporarily—from the pressures in life. There’s nothing like putting your heart, mind, soul and body into an intense 80 minutes when nothing else in the world seems to matter except you, your teammates, the ball and pummeling the opposition.”

—Monica Reich, 34, owner, Ann Arbor Tour and Travel

CYCLING Team Team BI-LO, Greenville Women’s Cycling, 16 members, ages 28 to 45 Where Greenville, SC Workouts Four or five times a week; races once a week Why it rocks “When you have careers, spouses, families and everything else that goes along with being an adult, it can be hard to find the time to form strong, lasting friendships. The team provides me with a bond that is deeper and more nurturing than most. It’s a family environment that benefits me beyond cycling.”

—Melissa Schnuck Weddell, 32,assistant professor

Reported by Rachel Sturtz

70 FITNESS NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2008 FITNESSMAGAZINE.COM

Relevant Links: Fitness Magazine: Should You Get Back In the Game?